Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Can you explain the psychology behind a parent who want you to be overweight?

I had been obese growing up. In high school I would try to go on a diet but my mom would sabotage by keeping cookies or fried goodies laying around the kitchen in front view. I finally lost the weight in college. Since then, I stayed at my mother's for 2 months. She refused to let me prepare my own food. If I begged her please no she would throw a fit. I realize now that she would secretly put sugar in my food. I would confront her about the extra sweetness and she said it was Splenda. Spenda in fruit? I just took her word for it, even though my gut said otherwise, but why would she? She would do such things like open up my yogurt and put a spoon in it and the yogurt would be mixed. Anyway, the skyrocketed weight gain despite my working out confirmed that she indeed was doing so. (I have hypothyroidism and PCOS, daily healthy diet %26amp; exercise regime is pertinent to keep my weight in a healthy range) Strangely, during this time, my mother had been starving herself and has becomeCan you explain the psychology behind a parent who want you to be overweight?
Sounds like one crazy lady to me. Apparently anoerexics love feeding their families and friends. She sounds like she needs therapy. And quickly.Can you explain the psychology behind a parent who want you to be overweight?
Is she Italian? Or Latino? (they do it too)





We have this built in need to feed people... and if they don't eat it. We think they don't love us.





Strange but true.
Guess she just wants you to always be dependent on her. She can't stand the thought of you leaving her. Keeping you so unhealthy that your bed-ridden would be a perfect way to accomplish this. What a horrible mom!
There are no words! But, I do feel her actions were unhealthy and damaging to you (and the others) in more than one way.





She definitely needs (needed) professional help.





By the way, did you get rid of the excess weight or have you kept it on. Since you know better, then don't sit back and do nothing.
i think ur mum needs therapy, specially for the anorexia...


her reasons for doing what she does to u could be very complex, take her to a psychiatrist
It could be she wants to look better than you, maybe only subconciously. It sounds like you are old enough to live away from home permanently. Live on your own, make your own meals and dont get together with your mother under situations that include eating if you can avoid it.
http://www.psychiarist.com


http://www.psychologist.com
maybe she wanted to keep u with her forever by making u fat. maybe she believes that if u r overweight it will keep a man from falling in love with u.





your mom sounds crazy, i would never eat at her home again. get yourself healthy in the mind and body so that u r at an equilibrium.
It might be that your mother is jealous of the fact that you had lost weight during college, and now that you are back she is making herself anorexic to try to match up to you, and at the same time, by feeding you, she is bringing you back to how she used to know you.


If I were you, i would sit down and have a serious talk with her about this. If she refuses to stop, or refuses to let you prepare your own food, it might be that you need to find your own place if you can, for your own health's sake.








On a side note, if you have hypothyroidism, take a kelp extract, you can find it at most health food stores. My sister had that problem, and it helped her to lose some weight.
Your mother is dangerous to you. It is simply jealousy but it deeply-based and lethal in some cases. Never eat with her again. It is so important you stop letting her control you because she has a mental problem about weight. I lost a lot of weight one time and my own mother called me flabby. My face burned and I couldn't believe it. Many over-controlling mothers are actually jealous and they are not on your side, no matter what they say. She wants you to be as fat as she was/is. I'm sorry your mother has that problem and it affects you severely.
my mom is like that. i think it's because she feels like if you're fat, you won't leave her because no one else will love you like she does. then she won't be alone, even if you're both miserable, that's better than being alone.
Sounds like Mom has issues much deeper than you may realize. She probably doesn't even realize.





However, this is something that you cannot change...only she can...of course you can have a deep discussion on the possiblilities of her getting help %26amp; show your support, but she has do the first step...admitting there's a problem.





Now, as far as your own health...this YOU are in charge of! I highly suggest purchasing a small dorm fridge for your room with a lock %26amp; keep your food safe. When Mom wants to interfere with your preparing time, simply %26amp; confidently state that you are an adult and have health issues of your own that you are caring for as best you can...and that you enjoy creating your dishes...then ask if she'd like some as well.


Do not cow-tow to her if gets in a snit...this is a ploy to push your guilt button...don't allow it! The best you can do is ignore it, and change the subject...like something going on at school, or some goofy driver you encountered on your way home.





You are at a time in your life when YOU have to think for Self...all the decisions you make are all about YOU and Who You Are becoming...this is YOUR lifetime. And yes, we all have people around us that we care about %26amp; care for, but that cannot waylay the responsibility of Self in process.





I wish you the best, Love...parents are people,too...and noone is perfect...but deal with your encounters with love and honesty, and appreciate the learning of the process...you'll be just fine. Good Journey!
Yeah, mater, has issues !!! It seems like a mild form of Munchassins by proxy....Think of ';6th Sense'; with Bruce Willis...





It's a sneaky (and totally unconscious) way to get lots of attention and sympathy...The conjecture would be that mater was starved for attention in family of origin OR had lots of it, and with children wasn't getting it anymore.





It goes without saying..Don't trust her for one minute regarding YOUR food and its preparation..





You are esteemed, to me, for your courage and perseverence to discipline yourself (against all odds) to not be morbidly obese...You go, girl/woman!!!!!





By the way, it won't do any good to confront her or tell her what you know...this is so deep in the unconscious that the person who is 'possessed' by it...is the last one to know she has it...(the possessed is a metaphor)
Your mother is not a well woman. I don't know how old you are but you should plan to get out of the house as soon as possible.
Maybe because she has an eating disorder she fears that you mite too so she wants to make sure you don't get one by giving you food.





Or maybe because she has such a love/hate relationship with food and she knows that if she eats she'd feel bad, she enjoys watching u eat food!

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