Monday, May 10, 2010

How to cope as a Single Parent?

How do u cope as a single parent? My son's father decided to leave us and I'm left to raise the baby by myselft.





How do i do it? I feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. How to cope as a Single Parent?
Being a single parent is very hard. I have a 4 year old, and although his father and I were together and even married during my pregnancy (we separated shortly after our son was born), he is no longer a part of our life. He has seen our son 2-3 times in 4 years, and our son was under the age of 2 during those times.


As hard as it is to be a single parent, the last thing you want for your child is a parent who comes in and out of the picture. It will cause much more damage than if he just isn't around. I know that some day my son will ask questions about his father and I will need to be prepared to answer them. But I feel that the most important thing at this point is that my son feels loved and supported. I try my best to give him the best life that I can. He has a wonderful family consisting of myself, my parents (his grandparents), my sister and her boyfriend, and lots of others. He has a wonderful male role model w/ my dad (his grandpa). And that's what I think is important.


You are hurting right now, and you have every right to, but remember that there is someone else depending on you now. There are lots of guys out there. Both you and your son deserve to have someone in your lives who wants to be there and appreciates you both.


Trust me, everything will work out the way that it is supposed. I would recommend that you talk w/ someone like a counselor about your feelings. Its nice to have an impartial party to talk to, not to mention they may be able to help you cope, and help provide you w/ resources that can help you as a single parent.


Also, even though your son's father has decided to leave and not be a part of your child's life, he is still financially responsible. Meaning that you can file for child support. Most states and counties have a child support enforcement agency that can help w/ this process, so find the number for you local agency and give them a call. The process can take a while, so you should get started on it as soon as you can.


You can also go to your local DHS office (Department of Human Services), and apply for assistance. You can apply for food stamps, cash assistance, day care assistance (if you are working or go to school). They can also direct you where to go in regards to filing child support. There are food pantries out there that can help w/ formula, baby food, diapers. There's lots of resources out there you just have to find them and then utilize them. Also sign up for the WIC Program(Women, Infants, and Children). They will provide you w/ coupons that pay for formula, baby cereal, baby food, juice. It won't cover everything, but it will help a GREAT deal.


And surround yourself with supportive people (family, friends, co-workers, etc...)


Being a single parent isn't all bad. You make the decisions and don't have to battle w/ someone else over who is right and wrong when it comes to raising you child. You and your child can develop a very special bond w/ each other. Life is never easy, and all we can do is try our best!





Good luck w/ everything How to cope as a Single Parent?
I know this feeling very well, my husband left me with our 4 children 7 days after my last son was born, it is heart wrenching. What kept me going was the children, knowing that they needed a parent and someone to take care of them. None of them were old enough to understand what was going on and as much as I hurt I refused to let them see that. So, I got a good job and worked hard to keep everything I had so nothing would change for the children. I ended up meeting wonderful people who were will to help, this also kept me going, knowing I was not alone. You are not alone either, this is unfortunate and something that happens to women every day. Stay strong for your baby and you will see that everything will be fine, try turning your focus on your child and not the father who left. Hope this helps and stay strong.
A lot of times it's easier than you'd think. I'd say the hardest challenge is probably money - you have to work to earn it, yet you need to be home for your kids too. That's been the hardest adjustment for me, before I had my daughter I worked two jobs, so money was never a concern. Afterwards, I kept only my full time job, and it was fine with her father and I living together and splitting the rent, utilities and childcare costs. Now, it's just me. I'm at an advantage, cuz I've always been good at saving money and keeping a decent savings account. If I didn't have that, I'd be lost. My job pays decent, plus I get health insurance, and I have an inexpensive sitter who is the most wonderful person. I've been very lucky! You may not think it's possible now, but it is. You guys don't need much - you could deal with a 1 BR apt. if need be, and kids don't need a ton of toys and stuff to keep them happy. As long as you guys have a place to live, clothes to wear, and food to eat, you will be all good! Also if you have decent people to care for your son when you need it, that's very helpful and a benefit for both of you.





I like a lot of the benefits of being a single parent. I don't have anyone to disagree with when it comes to making decisions and parenting, and I don't have anyone to get mad and frustrated with when they aren't helping out with your child. It's a lot easier for me when it's just me and my daughter, and I'm the only one whose responsibility it is. Someday I'd love to find a man who actually wants to be involved with their kids, not only for the fun stuff but for basic care too. Someone who doesn't mind feeding the kids or giving them baths once in awhile or getting up sometimes when I'm busy and they aren't and the child needs something. Obviously my ex was the opposite of that, one major reason we split. I personally am a lot happier and not as stressed as I was.
I have a friend who is in your situation. Her child's father moved to a 6 hour difference time zone! She gets a lot of help from her mother/aunts/sister/grandmother. She does a lot of things that I don't necessarily agree with like going out and getting drunk every weekend, but I look at it this way...maybe that's what she needs to do to keep her sanity.





If you have a good support system of friends or family, maybe what you need is a few hours to yourself each week. Drop the baby off to someone you trust and either go to a movie with some friends or go back home and take a much needed nap! It might be exactly what you need to put your life back in perspective.





Good luck!
I am a young single mommy to a 4yr old and a 8 wk old! The daddy is hardly in the picture. He does not help with the kids at all, no money for the kids (but has money for everything else!!!) and treats me like crap! I feel crappy everyday. My house looks like crap because I have no help and my hands are always full! I have family and they offer help by paying my bills. But I care for both my kids and my house all alone. I have NO friends to call (because of the girls daddy) and that is really hard. I take one day at a time and hope i can make it through the day. One thing I keep trying to tell myself is that I am the lucky one...I get to watch two beautiful girls grow up. So he may but out having fun but he is missing all the firsts and all the cute things. Its not easy. Music helps me out sometimes. I have mommy time outs when i'm gonna loose it. I go into my room(no kids allowed!) and listen to my ipod. That alone time with music makes me feel sane. single mommies need to support eachother!! Remember you are blessed and screw the dad.
Been a single mom for the past 8 years. You do what you have to do to get by. Apply for help at your local assistance office. Secure a job. Start child support proceedings. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because that is really what you are doing....think about it. Ask your family or even his family for help if you need it. Most importantly, don't take it out on your precious baby but love him/her twice as much. Make it all about that beautiful baby you were blessed with.
Go file child support. They will find him and you will get the help you need.


Just think of it this way you win you wake up to your son everyday, you get to watch your son grow and develop into a young man and you know what his father is missing out on all that. Your son deserves better and so do you :]
Your friends and Family will be close as ever


Faith on the Lord and his Love


one that will never leave us


I was the child of the same and


Mom took care of us just fine


she is our Moma Lion


times were tough be we made it


together and I am a better person


knowing things don't always


work out as planed


Know God knows the path


we just need to follow his map





Blessings
i sometmes feel not strong enough to do it but i lok at my daughter and i know im strong enough for it..


its hard but i love it and me and my daughter are closer then ever.
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