And NO I'm not on welfare! I have a bachelors degree and a real job!Why do (some) two-parent households complain about how hard it is to raise a baby?
i think single parents and couples have diffrent obsticles when raising children. as a single parent you have a clear idea of how you are going to raise your child you make the rules. the same as couples, but couples dont always agree on the best way to do that, i always think my way is right and my husband thinks his way is right and more often then not there two completly diffrent ways. and things are done diffrently depending on which parent is home which can be confusing for the child as many children need routine. but your right no matter how your doing it single or couple parenting is a joy!!! and for the record i would have never thought you were a single mom on welfare, most single moms i know along with stay at home moms do more by noon than i do all day!!!Why do (some) two-parent households complain about how hard it is to raise a baby?
I took care of 2 toddlers and a baby when I was 12. Raising a baby goes far beyond that.
. Easy means you aren't applying yourself until it is hard %26amp; you are physically or emotionally exhausted. Which is what most parents do. Single parents do as much as they can. So do couples.
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Making a salary while caring for your child is a rare luxury. That eliminates a lot of the financial %26amp; child care issues most parents face. You're hardly the typical single parent. Child care is the most important %26amp; costly issue for working parents.
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Because it is difficult regardless of the circumstances. If it's easy for you, maybe you're working hard at your ';real job'; and not your baby. I also find my very difficult job of raising my two boys BEYOND ENJOYABLE and very rewarding. I don't ';complain'; about my job, but certainly don't mind sharing my trying experiences with other moms.
Happily married, college educated engineer, SAHM.
well, we're not all superwomen. :-)
in all seriousness, if it's easy for you you'd better write a book or something. i love being a mom -- wouldn't trade it for anything. i'm lucky to have a supportive husband, a good financial situation, and the opportunity to be full-time with my kids. and i do not think it's easy. fun -- yes. rewarding -- definitely. easy -- no.
and i'm comparing that to my pre-child life as an attorney working 14+ hour days.....
edit -- what comes to mind immediately is dealing with my premature son with breathing problems in NICU while simultaneously being responsible for my 1-year-old at home; dealing with one child who's been repeatedly hospitalized for asthma and has life-threatening allergies; dealing with one's severe shyness or another's resistence to toilet training; keeping all four kids fed, bathed, played with, loved, on top of homework and activities, while still doing mounds of laundry and maintaining some (remote) semblence of cleanliness; keeping a gifted child challenged in a school system with no gifted program; helping kids figure out how to navigate social problems; dealing with various disciplinary issues; long stretches of time without sleep during kids' chronic ear infection flare-ups; motivating kids who are afraid of the water to learn to swim; etc. it's hard in the same way that all teaching is hard, and in the same way that all relationships can be hard. it's just more constant and relentless (and worth it.)
wow, they should give you an award for that, we are all bowing to you as we type. Sad you were not as successful with your partner(s)
Because it IS hard to raise a baby. For single parents or 2 parent households
I wouldnt be so quick to judge, just because there are two there, doesnt mean that both contribute. Also it can have to do with the baby's temperment, extended family or close friends in town, lots of factors. Frankly, some babies and toddlers are ';easier'; than others.
There was a Business Week article a few months back on Alpha Moms that was an interesting read. It states somewhat what you are saying, women who are enjoying having it all, just in a way thats less judgemental.
oop it was us news - but theres some other interesting links, if you just google Alpha Moms
I'm so glad that you have such an easy child..but the world is not perfect and every child nor household is the same nor can be managed the same..so stop judging! Very few people have your option of working from home..and you said that you have a baby...well let me and the other parents know how great it is as that little one gets older and into more and more things...and lets see just how much work you get done during that time too..lol..
You know I am a parent of a two-parent household and the reason so many parents like me complain is because we are not only raising our child but maintaining a relationship, jugling finances and working. Granted a single parent has to jugle finances and work....however I know for a fact that single parents don't have to maintian a relationship with thier partner.....which is more frustrating and hard work than raising the child actually is. Finances are usually stretched thinner because there are more people in the household. I don't complain personally and I have more on my plate than most do....I work full time, go to school full time, take care of my daughter and husband, maintain the house and finances....and I'm very proud to be in a two-parent household...the main difference is that before you can agree to raise a child you have to talk about discipline, fears, have comfort in the relationship and know that you can trust your partner with everything....
Momma_Bear
If you're happy with your life, that's great. It sounds like you hit the jackpot in terms of a family-friendly, flexible workplace.
But these things change ... imagine a new department head with different ideas about staffing, funding cutbacks that change workloads or a (heaven forbid) a health problem for you or your child.
It's easy to be arrogant and dismissive of others' struggles when things are going smoothly in your life, but it's smart to remember that while some of your circumstances are due to hard work and good judgment, luck plays a part, too.
Odds are good that some years will be harder than others.
Because you are bringing up, taking care of and giving guidance to another human being. That can be difficult to do whether you are single or married.
Oh really, you have a ';real job';?
(snort)
As opposed to what? A person that cleans houses? A person that flips burgers or collects trash? A secretary? Or (gasp!) a stay at home mom?
All mothers are working mothers. Whether they work outside the home, at home, or stay at home. No need to degrade anybody by implying they don't have a ';real job';.
because no matter if your a two parent family or just one, raising a baby is hard work. Just because there is another parent in the household does not mean they are always there or always the best help . Even if they were, raising a child is work. Enjoyable, yes, but work.
I really have a hard time believing its really that easy for you.
And anyway if you are working, you probably have a babysitter, in which case, that can help make things way easier.
Glad you are having a great time. I enjoy my kids but it's not always easy. I have three kids - two with special needs and frankly it can be very hard at times. However, that doesn't mean I don't love it.
Because raising a baby is hard. Being a parent if you are single, married or whatever is always hard. Some situations are harder than others but being a parent is never easy no matter what!
Okay, here is a good example...Someone who is paralized and a healthy person both get the flu...Is the flu any more enjoyable to either person...
Now parenting obviously is not as bad as the flu, but it has its ups and downs for everybody, regardless of race, income, marital status, etc.
I hope you are not saying that just because a family has two parents they are not allowed to complain about the difficulties of raising a family...Just because a household has two parents doesn't mean they have disposable income...Just because there are two-parents doesn't mean they are both there all the time. Just because there are two doesn't remove the stress of a sick child, endless homework, or making end meet!
For the most part parenting is a rewarding opportunity to raise part of you to go on and be a contributing member of society...I like being a parent and yes, we are a two parent household, but that doesn't mean things don't ever get difficult, stressful or overwhelming. Sometimes, and we are ALL guilty of it, we complain, vent and let out some of that stress. Unfortunatley we don't often enough think about those who do have a more difficult time or those that have added stress.
Consider yourself lucky to find it always so easy, and beyond enjoyable...I do too for the most part, but that has nothing to do with the # of parents here...It is a choice I make to find this work challenging AND enjoyable...But not everyday are things perfect...People get sick, you lose things, etc...
BTW you don't have to be so defensive, not EVERYONE thinks because you are single you are on welfare...Also what does ';REAL JOB'; mean??? Just because the income is higher for a Dr. than say someone at a fast food joint, does that mean the person working at Burger King does not have a ';real job';???
I am a stay at home mom...Is that a real job???
Not everyone has great jobs. Just because you have two incomes, does not mean you are doing well. You might make more then your neighbors with 2 income households.
Example, my mom works at a pretty large firm. She makes 60K a year, but the girl behind her makes 100K a year. My mom's work friend is a single mom and NOT struggling. She drives a nicer car then my mom and has nicer clothes. My mom does.
Plus, you have to consider the number of kids in a family. The more kids, the more expenses. Plus, you probably get child support. That money is specifically for your child. In a two-income household, both parents are using their combined incomes to raise a child. You have help and you don't realize it.
Plus, one additional adult in the family can cause expenses to rise. That's one extra adult who has to feed themselves, clothe themselves, give themselves good medical care.
You are VERY lucky to have it easy. However, it's a big judgemental to question why other people are having financial difficult.
As a single mother, I'm surprised you'd sterotype others. I'm sure people have passed some pretty harsh judgements on you.
I love being a mother but there is nothing easy about it. I try not to complain because I just don't want to become one of 'those' mothers. You know the ones that always talk about how horrible their kids are how lazy their husbands are how difficult life is and blah blah blah. I adore my children but I stand by my statement there is nothing easy about being a parent.
Being a mom is one of the hardest and most enjoyable jobs/pleasures I have ever known!
Because its an adjustment. Balancing a relationship and children can be tough, not agreeing that its okay to complain. But every mother needs the occasional time to ';vent';, you included. Im glad you enjoy it but even you need a little time with out your baby. I know when I gave birth to my oldest, Tyson who is 6. I went from being 21, married, and taking care of myself (and husband) to taking care of a child. It took a little time to get used to sleep deprivation, not looking my best, and focusing 100% on baby, but I loved it just like you.
i dont complain, but i do realize it it hard!!!
my husband and have a 2 month old, and it isnt easy sometimes!
yes i love being a mom, and it is enjoyable, but its also a 24hr/7day a week job!
now you should be asking yourself ';why do single parent homes think they are better than everyone else???';
being a mom is the hardest most rewarding ';job'; ive ever had!!
now get off your high horse, and stop putting other people down!
i live with my babys father but he dosent help much..
Because some people don't have a clue. My brother-and sister-in-law had three kids, all bottle fed until their first birthday, no food, their kids SCREAMED every two hours for a bottle, and they never planned ahead by making the bottles up before hand, they stumbled around the kitchen making the bottle while the kid screamed and it took them 20 or 30 minutes to get a bottle ready. And so on and so on.
They are whingers.
Some people just have babies because everyone else is doing it but they are too selfish and make lousy parents.
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